Simmer down, younguns, I got words to say and no time to waste. More’n once I’ve been accused of putting too proactive a tilt on my summer scheduling. My defense is that just last week – June 11th – I awoke to falling snow right here in Bozeman. A lifetime of Treasure State experience brings the matter home with Walter Cronkite credibility: those flakes will again breach the city limits before Labor Day. At best, that gives us twelve whole weeks to get some serious recreating done. To my detractors, I simply won’t apologize for feeling that the sun-blazed June 12th shook me like a starter’s pistol at a track meet. I’d swear I heard my high school coach, Fritzl Stender, shouting into the blue,“On your marks!”
 1) Hook up the Adrenaline Drip: Okay, so a miserable May left you waterlogged and you forgot how to enjoy the sunshine. A primer: hike up Sacajawea Peak, bike over Grassy Mountain, picnic by an open field, climb the Absarokas, run along Sourdough Creek, ski the Tobacco Roots, golf at Old Works, camp in the Beartooths, and – when in doubt – sell completely out to relive that idyllic summer you had after fourth grade.
2) Don’t Miss the Downtown Events: Event organizers like Ellie Staley at the Downtown Bozeman Association put together another great line-up of community get-togethers: ArtWalk (2nd Friday, June – September), Music on Main (Thursday evenings, July 1st – August 19th), Crazy Days (July 23rd-25th), Bite of Bozeman (August 4th), Sweet Pea Festival (August 6th-8th), Cruisin’ on Main (August 9th) … and don’t miss the Farmers’ Markets, both at Bogert (Tuesday evenings) and the Gallatin County Fairgrounds (Saturday mornings).
3) Rent a Forest Service Cabin: There are well over a dozen USFS cabins for rent within 50 miles of Bozeman. Here’s one for each point on the compass. N – Battle Ridge Cabin, E – Trail Creek Cabin, S – Maxey Cabin (shown), W – Spanish Creek Cabin. They range in comfort level from “nice enough” to Neanderthal. Make a reservation, throw together some friends, toss in a little hooch, and get all Swiss Family Robinson.
4) Eat Some Rodeo Dust: Wilsall NRA Rodeo (June 19th & 20th), Livingston Roundup Rodeo (July 2-4), Ennis Rodeo (July 3rd & 4th), Bozeman Classic PBR (July 21st), Bozeman Roundup Ranch Rodeo (July 24th), and back to the Shields Valley for the Wilsall Ranch Rodeo (August 22nd). I recommend going to all of them. Those cityfolk mocking the rural pastimes were exposed to too much concrete off-gassing - they’re flat wrong. Overdosing on Redneck Americana is not only a right, it’s your civic duty.
 5) The Brain Needs a Feed’n: No doubt you’re gonna get your feet wet and shoulders a nice bronze this summer. Don’t overlook your squash – here’s a user’s guide for beginners: identify three new constellations, memorize the words to two songs (fielder’s choice, anything from Kristofferson to Eminem is fair game), be able to identify a half dozen new species of birds, know Montana’s summer wild berries, learn the bartender’s recipe to two fair-weather concoctions, recite aloud one Richard Hugo poem (but maybe not “The Only Bar in Dixon;” that triumvirate of poetry still has the family of “the redheaded bartender who can be had for a word” in an angry twist).
 6) Imbibe with Local Culture: Theatre: “Once Upon a Mattress,” July 9th-25th at The Ellen Theatre; “Fame,” June 25th - July 25th @ The Firehouse 5 Theatre in Livingston, Shakespeare in the Parks “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” June 23rd-26th, and “Julius Caesar,” June 30th – July 3rd, @ the MSU Grove, the infamous Brewery Follies, May 28th – September 5th, in Virginia City. Check out this year’s outdoor sculptural exhibit at the Gallatin Art Crossing. And – always, always – keep your eyes on the Emerson’s calendar.
7) Just Add Water: Fly-fish, swim, float, cliff jump, kayak, skinny dip. Impress Poseidon and get ‘em all checked off in one day.
 8) Patios to Crowd and Linger: Put on your best Euro garb and partake in Bozeman’s newest summer pastime. A few of our favorite places to bask and soak? Starky's Authentic Americana, Weebee’s, anywhere around the Baxter Hotel, The Crystal Bar, Fresco Café, and Montana AleWorks.
9) Go on Tour with the Music Festivals: If you miss the Headwaters Country Jam near Three Forks (June 24th-26th) and the Wild West Soiree in downtown Billings (June 25th-26th), try the National Folk Festival in Butte (July 9th-11th), Targhee Fest in Grand Targhee, WY, (July 16th-18th), and Rockin’ the Rivers near Three Forks (August 13th-15th).
10) Surprise Me: Volunteer at Thrive, give a horse the spurs, support the ridge runners, ski ‘the Great One,’ sing karaoke at the Bacchus, or stare down something dangerous: a wolf, a rattlesnake, or even a black widow (I recommend steering clear of hobo spiders – those dern things are evil!)
“They say that rewiring your mind is a great way to stave off death. I propose it’s the only way to live.” - compliments of yours truly, Ike Chandler
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